yeah so last night i was totally stressing over my senior panel for today. i had heard that it was really easy AND that it was really hard, depending on my panel. dang, i really thought i had researched enough, even if i was still pretty vague. my final list was usc, ucla, ucsd, uci, ucsb, and ucr. not an ideal list, but still. it'd be okay. :l
oh how wrong i was. T_T
the day started off with apbio and i was kinda stressed during that time, but i was fairly confident i wouldn't be called back. at 9:25, i left civics for my panel. Out side of the conference room (they were running really late), i was talking to the person before me and the person before her. they didn't have great experiences with the interviewers, but it wasn't too bad. Then i was called in. i had it with hager, logan and west. wtf who knows psychology over there. anyhow, they started off asking me for my stats: 3.43/2310, then asked me for my colleges. ugh, i don't even know how to write about it, they were so rude. actually, only hager questioned, the others just sat back and watched mostly. AWERIDFLKDFJ. so pissed as i'm writing this. they basically said that i wouldn't be able to make it anywhere and that i should just go to cerritos college and get it over with since i wasn't excited about going to college. apparently i should get excited about going to calstate fullerton because that's my best chance. wtf honestly. i KNOW that that's fucking ridiculous, but just the fact that she was being such a BITCH. omg. she also indirectly called me stupid. arghhh. so fucked up. i was almost about to cry when it was over (i have to go back mygod), but i held it in cuz i was still so shocked. anyhow then i started to talk about it to my friends and the wall broke and i tore up. it's been so long since that happened. but it's good to have friends support you. and then i had to go to math, which was being subbed by mrs. kim, one of the second grade teachers from gonsalves. gaaawd that was so weird when she kept putting attention on me because she kept asking for my name. i guess she couldn't hear nor tell that i wanted to be left alone... but it's not her fault i guess. the classwork kept my mind off the madness, so that was good. mary was sympathizing with me too since her interview was crazy weird (describe your chair?!). then i left for english and we weren't doing anything except working on college essays, so my buddies and i went to the computer lab to "work" on the essays. instead all we did was look at colleges and tcci and facebook. i was further convinced of hagers useless badgering when it was pretty much guaranteed that i would at least get into a uc. damn. i still can't get over it. after that was lunch, but i wasn't hungry cuz of the depression. so i just lounged around until kelly came and then we went to find our secret buddies. that was when my day started to get better, cuz i srsly have the cutest little buddies ever! lol steve and aman are such cute lil scrubs. my other friends wanted to share them with me, even kelly who had her own couple of scrubs. haha. and then to lift my spirits even more, mary and i decided to go face up to our counselor and ask WHY our panels were so horrible. logan was pretty straightforward with us, saying that our panels were pretty unfair, but it was because the people were so tired of ridiculous choices in the 2 weeks that the panels already occurred. ugh. WHY so unlucky. but she said realistically, that we would get in and have a great time. i just gotta go visit the colleges. that was good to just let the weight off our chests and know it wasn't our fault. and i found out like half the people interviewed had to go back. then i had to powerwalk back to 6th period since the conversation went by so fast. i grabbed my lunch back from the senior square and went to Z. ooh first time i actually looked at Jon since forever. he got uglier but that still means he's still better than average. ^^ during class we just watched cool bideos and got our first assignment. im paired with amanda yay. i feel so bad for aarti... but idk. i can't do anything about it. im not a big enough person. :l well that ended and the last class for the day YEARBOOK yay was cool too. i was supposed to sell icecream afterschool, but oyama had to leave early so we didn't yay! but it was a pretty busy hour what with all the seniors turning in their senior surveys and celebrating kring/regina's birthday with cake. yeah...
so allinall it was a pretty strange day - starting off superbad and then becoming pretty good. i'm glad it wasn't the other way around, that would suck. okay, some pictures now, not of my crying :'[ but of happy sutff!
my cutie babies + kellizle:
yearbook partay <3>
mmmyeah. :]
i wish i could have more faith in God. i've never felt as far from Him as i do now. dangit. i bet i would feel a lot more calm. what happened to me?! annnd yeah. i hafta go visit colleges i guess. i'm glad it's almost over...... kinda sad though.
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