last time

so this is the moment that i'm marking as the last time that i'll ever have sweaty palms and an eye tic the night before a COLLEGEBOARD test score comes out. thanks heavens for that. my nonexisting (yet) ulcers were starting to show up.

ohgads i can't believe that it;s over. one chapter of our journey to college is OVAH. only college apps, letters of rec, ssrs, gpas, and GETTING THE HELL IN left. whew! that's still quite a bit though huh... ah well. all part of the process.

i'm basically checking collegeboard every five minutes to see if the scores are up, and my stomach does a little jumping thing each time. so annoying.

so i'm hoping for decently high scores on my tests ~

SATI: 2310

SATII MathII: 760

SATII Bio-M: 740 (?)

SATII Lit: 750 (?)

GPA: 3.5

ugh STUPID gpas!!!! everything else is... okay. stupidstupidstupid high school that is too competitive to get good grades in. and stupid meeee for getting a 650 on lit last time because i FUCKEDUP. damn..asdfjlasdkfjdsflad. and dyou know what i'm supposed to be doing right now??? STUDYING or WRITING MY COLLEGE ESSAYS... ugh. sometimes i really hate myself yknow? i have no work ethic at all. i've seriously just cruised along, and this SUCKS. stupid smart brain that deludes me. >[

so disappointed, yet can't change it. TRAPPED. i need to start anew.

heh, let's look at my past! and then present...

omgsh, i look so bright and happy in that first picture compared to the second one, where i look terrible (on purpose*). i even look BLUE literally in the present one! the computer cammy knows what's up in my life. totally need to cram my essays. alsdjfalsdkfj

okay. maybe i should actually start working now. i shall.